Journey - Two Years Later (Healing Mass)

July 16, 2010:  My dear friend, Shirley Gauwitz had come by on Monday and said there was a healing Mass at St. Thomas on Thursday evening and she wanted me to go.   There was a whole lot of upbeat music and hugging going on.  When I went up to Communion (I had gone to Mass that morning), I asked for a blessing and Father Watson gave it to me and then said: "You know you can have Communion again.  So I also took Communion.  I am just not comfortable drinking from the cup anymore.  I don't feel right now that I have cancer.  (I do take Communion under both species now)
     Shirley wanted me to be prayed over and so I went forward and let them pray for me.  The people around me - about four of them - were speaking in tongues and I just kept saying to myself:   "Thy will be done".   I was very uncomfortable.   I left there not feeling healed but realizing that the charismatic movement is not for me.  Shirley is such a believer and I love it when she prays when we are all together and am amazed at her great natural faith.  I am too much of a traditionalist.  My faith is who I am and I love the quiet internal quality of our Faith.
     When I got home I was telling Angela of my experience, and the phone  rang.  It was Msgr. Watson to explain that you can receive Communion every time you attend Mass.  I knew that was true if you were the Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, but wasn't sure that it was true when just attending Mass.  I expressed my feelings on the healing Mass and he assured me that it was okay not to feel comfortable at that kind of service and that there are different rites for different types.  I suspect he could sense how I was feeling and that is why he really called.  What a dear person he is.
July 17:  Angela and I drove out to the cancer center for a PET scan.  Thursday's MRI was for the brain to see if the cancer had spread there.  The PET scan was to see if there was cancer in other parts of the body.   He injected me with glucose and glucose gathers around the areas where there is cancer.  I will get the results next Wednesday.
     Had an e-mail from Jean.  She said the physical therapist who works at the pool said that I will have an easier time with chemo.  People over sixty with added weight seem to do better.  A strange blessing.
     When I was getting the PET scan, out of the blue came the thought of how many times over 52 years of marriage, I would be upset with Vern over some supposed insensitivity on his part and I would lie as close to the edge of the bed as possible, seething, making sure not to touch him or allow him to touch me.  Laying so still during that test, I got an unbelievable longing to have him hold me, just to feel him breathe beside me and cradle me.  Hugs from a friend or child just don't measure up to being held by your spouse.  How silly we are to be mad or hold a grudge.