Sunday, August 19, 2012

Journey - Two Years Later (Feelin' the Love)

July 17, 2010:  My house looks wonderful.  Angela brought me a pretty mixed bouquet for my birthday.  Alissa's boys sent me yellow and white daisies for my birthday and she and Ron a lovely pot of impatiens for the back porch.  Friday a sweet little bouquet came from Dorothy Bach and when Amy (Kennard) came over last evening she brought a mixed bouquet.  How good is that!!!
 July 20:  Sunday I had company.  Gabe and Angela Ludlum came by with soup.  She is an amazing woman.  Then about four, came Vern's nephew, Randy and his wife and two of his children.  They live in Kansas City and were on their way to the Chicago area.  It was very nice of them to stop in.  They were here for a couple of hours and headed north.  Have felt listless the last couple of days with a dull pain in my chest.  Could be the heat, I suppose.
     Mary Nelson and I had talked about going out to Lourdes and we drove out today about 9:00 in the morning and sat under a tree and talked.  Mary Nelson is a very spiritual lady that I have admired for years.  She was the secretary in Pastoral Care when I began as an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist at St. Francis Hospital (That means that I volunteered to take Communion to the Roman Catholic patients in the hospital)  She and I were also on a Cursillo team together.  Lourdes (a parish outside of Metamora and in a country setting) is a special place for me.   When the children were growing up and life was overwhelming I would go to that dear quiet place and say the rosary or walk the Stations of the Cross or just sit and look at the landscape.  It is beautiful in the fall particularly.  It was a nice morning with good memories.
     When the mail came there was a book about a restaurant in Kansas City called Italian Gardens.  Thumbed through it, looks interesting.  Quite a lot about the Italians who settled in the area.  Vern would have loved it.  My brother Russ and his wife Lee sent a signed copy.  Would have loved to have Vern's dad's take on it.  I think the daughters will enjoy it too.
July 21, 2010:  Mass this morning and breakfast at Gebby's Restaurant.  Maureen, Angela and Lora are here.  Our friend Phyllis too.  Joanie (brother Dave's wife, visiting from Florida and she is a nurse) arrived and we headed out to the Illinois Cancer Center.  Have been anxious all morning.  Up to Pod D and our meeting with Dr. Gerstner.  Good news for bad news:  The cancer is contained in my left lung.  When I heard what he said, I was stunned.  I was convinced that it had spread.  The daughters came over and hugged me.  We talked a little more and set up an appointment to start chemo.  Once a week, every three weeks for 18 weeks.  Another PET scan to see how its doing and then more chemo.  Looks like it will be for life.  But life was extended from six months to 18 months on average.
      Afterward we went to Bar Louis for bloody marys.  Someone said we went from Hail Marys to bloody marys.  We sat around and visited for awhile and then everyone headed home.
      Granddaughter, Ellen drove down, she said she dreaded seeing me, she was so sure my looks had altered - I think that comes later.  She and I went to supper at MCallisters  She is so close to tears over this situation.  I worked to tease her out of it.  I know she feels that way because she loves me.  I tried to explain that this macabre sense of humor of mine, is what sustains me.  She left about 7:00 p.m., headed for Grandma Rubys.  I am so tired   - emotionally drained - I went to bed.  Marge called from up north and I told her the news.  She was so glad to hear it hadn't spread.  She and Keith are in Bemidji with Jackie, Dan and family.  She'll be home next week.   I am blessed with good friends and family and the positive thing about a terminal illness is everyone you love shows or says that they love you.  Life is great!!
   

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