From the journal I kept when I was first diagnosed with cancer
August 1, 2010: The air conditioner died on Thursday. It was put in the house in 1983, so it lasted a long time - just my luck, it ended on my watch. Oh well, there's enough money to pay for it. The new one is to be installed tomorrow.
Thoughts: Today as I was walking into Mass, and walking slow and watching my steps as I am so afraid of falling, I was reminded of how quickly I moved in my youth. I have never been graceful, - Dad said once that I was as graceful as a cow on stilts (why do we remember the unkind things people say?)
I was remembering how when I would be at the grocery store, I would be reaching for one thing, not paying attention or being distracted - thinking about what was next on my list and I would knock something over. It happened enough that I was admonished time and time again by Vern. Of course, the fact that because I didn't drive and he and one, two, three or four kids were with me, often causing chaos MIGHT have added to my carelessness. (I didn't drive until Angela, No. 5, was born)
Anyway, as I sat in Church before Mass started, I began to think about our Faith. As young people, because of pressures and lifestyle, our Church life is stop and starts, moving toward one new experience after another, having some ecclesiastical mishaps along the way. Church is there but - in my case, I was not always present - because of the commotion around me. Believe me, six little girls or variables there of can cause quite a lot of complications. In those days, I rarely missed Mass on Sunday even if I had to hitch a ride or take the kids to Moms. But often I was so brain weary that I wondered why I was there.
Now in old age, my Faith is a straight journey, watching my steps, enjoying being able to pay attention at daily Mass. Relaxed in the Lord and in the Church. I am at peace. I even see distractions as blessings. I realize now, that all of this is our Faith journey. Like going on a trip, the busyness of preparation, trying to make sure everyone else's time is a good one, as women, we put our self on hold and only on the way home do you reflect on the good times you had, even at the time you didn't realize they were good times.
Life, Faith, the journey, how blessed we are. I start chemo on Tuesday, I will persevere! God is good.
Some little incidents to tell: Once when Lora was about four, we were at the Kroger store at Madison Park and instead of staying with us, she was running down aisles to get away from us and pretty soon Alissa joined in, running in the opposite direction. I finally corralled Lora and swatted her on the back side, and a lady, walking by said: "I have always thought that parents who whipped their children should be whipped themselves". (It was only a swat - not a whipping). I never once chastised my children in public in that way again, but I was not above, grabbing their hair and pulling slightly, or grabbing the back of their neck and applying a little pressure when we were at a store - when they needed it - or grabbing their knees and squeezing significantly,when they misbehaved in Church.
Mary, was about two, and we were in Mass at St. Johns, and a classmate at AOL, Jacqueline Perrilles, was sitting next me. Mary was on my lap. Jackie had on a beautiful fur coat and Mary reached out and touched it. She then got Alissa's attention and Alissa went over and touched it too. As I got Alissa to sit back down, Mary got off my lap and got in Jackie's lap and snuggled in and went to sleep. My classmate didn't have children at that time but she good naturedly allowed Mary to enjoy that fur coat - Mary still enjoys them today.
When Maureen was married to Ned Burns, they were at an event and he excitedly grabbed her knee and squeezed it. She told me, that she said to him: "Don't do that, you don't know what memories that brings back and they are not good!" Oh well, life with that crew of six had it's distractions but eventually distractions become reminisces.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Marzetti
This weekend we celebrate Labor Day, which means Autumn is almost upon us and it's time to think of hearty casseroles for coolish evenings. This is a Scovil family favorite. Mom would cook it when a large group was coming and we often had it as a side dish at Thanksgiving.
8 oz. pkg. noodles (I prefer rigatoni or bow tie pasta)
Cook as directed on package.
2 lbs. ground beef
1 lg. onion - chopped
2/3 cup chopped green pepper
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. oregano
2 tbls. Worcestershire Sauce
6 oz. can of tomato paste
Brown meat. Add vegetables and seasonings. Cook until blended.
Mix together drained noodles and beef mixture and add:
8 oz. chopped mushrooms
1 1/2 cup water
2 cans tomato soup
1/4 cup green olives - chopped
Pour mixture into a large casserole - I used a 9x12 baking dish
Make a topping of:
1/2 cup chopped pecans
8 oz. shredded cheddar
Sprinkle over mixture.
Bake in 325 oven for 40 minutes.
Serve with a salad, and hot rolls.
I love this casserole - I think it's the addition of the green olives - It makes so much, that when it was just Vern and me, we only had it if I had signed up to take dinner to a family in need and I'd reserve enough for a meal for us. Good and hearty.....and easy - my style of cooking.
The rest of the story: I wasn't sure where Mom had gotten this recipe, I thought it might be from a past s-i-l, so I asked Judy and she thought maybe Sis Raineri, a long time family friend who with her husband, Tony, was always included in family events. Then I asked our youngest sister, Suzanne and she doesn't even remember eating Marzetti. I love my sisters.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Taking That First Step
That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind......Neil Armstrong
Two friends posted the above picture on Facebook this week. When I saw this the first time, I thought of the people I know who are ready to or have recently stepped out of their comfort zone to start something new. A daughter going back to school after many years; a grandson starting a new job; another grandson heading off to Europe; a friend, a recent widow, having to make steps to a new way to live; a brother having to decide how much to grow his business; and a sister making a life changing decision. There are others - actually too many to note. Every day, someone tells me of a change they need to contemplate. And each life episode starts with one step, literally or figuratively. These persons are my heroes. I define heroism as an ordinary person doing something extra ordinary. Stepping out is extra ordinary. Making that decision to go ahead - no status quo - and try something new.
Back to the baby chick picture. I love the way its tiny wings are out for balance and he is stepping out on one foot and precariously on tip toe on the other. The photographer had to be pretty close to the ground himself to get this perspective. And the way the light creates a glow around him and its almost as if we can see right through him.
Anytime we start something new, there is a glow about us. Is it our enthusiasm shining through us? I think so! I have enjoyed all of the times we've traveled, knowing we'll be going to a place we've never seen and looking forward to whatever experience lies ahead. Love, love, new adventures. And what balances me? Faith. Family. Friends.
Another thing about the above picture, anyone who has had chickens knows that that little guy above was not alone, just out of the picture was certainly another, larger chick, as in mother hen? Most of us have someone watching over us. Someone who "mother hens" us. Someone who balances us. If we're lucky, it's a spouse or a sibling or if we're really lucky, both. I read one time that the word encourage means to be courage for one another. Boy, have I had a bunch of encouragers, balancers, mother hens. I am blessed.
What is really ironic is this little 'step' picture appeared at the same time as the announcement of the passing of Neil Armstrong, the first person to step onto the moon. Talk about an adventure. Stepping on the lunar surface for the first time. A true hero, an ordinary person - he describes himself as nerdy - who had the courage to step out and step up to step "on the moon", Pretty impressive.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Journey - Two Years Later (Feelin' the Love)
July 17, 2010: My house looks wonderful. Angela brought me a pretty mixed bouquet for my birthday. Alissa's boys sent me yellow and white daisies for my birthday and she and Ron a lovely pot of impatiens for the back porch. Friday a sweet little bouquet came from Dorothy Bach and when Amy (Kennard) came over last evening she brought a mixed bouquet. How good is that!!!
July 20: Sunday I had company. Gabe and Angela Ludlum came by with soup. She is an amazing woman. Then about four, came Vern's nephew, Randy and his wife and two of his children. They live in Kansas City and were on their way to the Chicago area. It was very nice of them to stop in. They were here for a couple of hours and headed north. Have felt listless the last couple of days with a dull pain in my chest. Could be the heat, I suppose.
Mary Nelson and I had talked about going out to Lourdes and we drove out today about 9:00 in the morning and sat under a tree and talked. Mary Nelson is a very spiritual lady that I have admired for years. She was the secretary in Pastoral Care when I began as an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist at St. Francis Hospital (That means that I volunteered to take Communion to the Roman Catholic patients in the hospital) She and I were also on a Cursillo team together. Lourdes (a parish outside of Metamora and in a country setting) is a special place for me. When the children were growing up and life was overwhelming I would go to that dear quiet place and say the rosary or walk the Stations of the Cross or just sit and look at the landscape. It is beautiful in the fall particularly. It was a nice morning with good memories.
When the mail came there was a book about a restaurant in Kansas City called Italian Gardens. Thumbed through it, looks interesting. Quite a lot about the Italians who settled in the area. Vern would have loved it. My brother Russ and his wife Lee sent a signed copy. Would have loved to have Vern's dad's take on it. I think the daughters will enjoy it too.
July 21, 2010: Mass this morning and breakfast at Gebby's Restaurant. Maureen, Angela and Lora are here. Our friend Phyllis too. Joanie (brother Dave's wife, visiting from Florida and she is a nurse) arrived and we headed out to the Illinois Cancer Center. Have been anxious all morning. Up to Pod D and our meeting with Dr. Gerstner. Good news for bad news: The cancer is contained in my left lung. When I heard what he said, I was stunned. I was convinced that it had spread. The daughters came over and hugged me. We talked a little more and set up an appointment to start chemo. Once a week, every three weeks for 18 weeks. Another PET scan to see how its doing and then more chemo. Looks like it will be for life. But life was extended from six months to 18 months on average.
Afterward we went to Bar Louis for bloody marys. Someone said we went from Hail Marys to bloody marys. We sat around and visited for awhile and then everyone headed home.
Granddaughter, Ellen drove down, she said she dreaded seeing me, she was so sure my looks had altered - I think that comes later. She and I went to supper at MCallisters She is so close to tears over this situation. I worked to tease her out of it. I know she feels that way because she loves me. I tried to explain that this macabre sense of humor of mine, is what sustains me. She left about 7:00 p.m., headed for Grandma Rubys. I am so tired - emotionally drained - I went to bed. Marge called from up north and I told her the news. She was so glad to hear it hadn't spread. She and Keith are in Bemidji with Jackie, Dan and family. She'll be home next week. I am blessed with good friends and family and the positive thing about a terminal illness is everyone you love shows or says that they love you. Life is great!!
July 20: Sunday I had company. Gabe and Angela Ludlum came by with soup. She is an amazing woman. Then about four, came Vern's nephew, Randy and his wife and two of his children. They live in Kansas City and were on their way to the Chicago area. It was very nice of them to stop in. They were here for a couple of hours and headed north. Have felt listless the last couple of days with a dull pain in my chest. Could be the heat, I suppose.
Mary Nelson and I had talked about going out to Lourdes and we drove out today about 9:00 in the morning and sat under a tree and talked. Mary Nelson is a very spiritual lady that I have admired for years. She was the secretary in Pastoral Care when I began as an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist at St. Francis Hospital (That means that I volunteered to take Communion to the Roman Catholic patients in the hospital) She and I were also on a Cursillo team together. Lourdes (a parish outside of Metamora and in a country setting) is a special place for me. When the children were growing up and life was overwhelming I would go to that dear quiet place and say the rosary or walk the Stations of the Cross or just sit and look at the landscape. It is beautiful in the fall particularly. It was a nice morning with good memories.
When the mail came there was a book about a restaurant in Kansas City called Italian Gardens. Thumbed through it, looks interesting. Quite a lot about the Italians who settled in the area. Vern would have loved it. My brother Russ and his wife Lee sent a signed copy. Would have loved to have Vern's dad's take on it. I think the daughters will enjoy it too.
July 21, 2010: Mass this morning and breakfast at Gebby's Restaurant. Maureen, Angela and Lora are here. Our friend Phyllis too. Joanie (brother Dave's wife, visiting from Florida and she is a nurse) arrived and we headed out to the Illinois Cancer Center. Have been anxious all morning. Up to Pod D and our meeting with Dr. Gerstner. Good news for bad news: The cancer is contained in my left lung. When I heard what he said, I was stunned. I was convinced that it had spread. The daughters came over and hugged me. We talked a little more and set up an appointment to start chemo. Once a week, every three weeks for 18 weeks. Another PET scan to see how its doing and then more chemo. Looks like it will be for life. But life was extended from six months to 18 months on average.
Afterward we went to Bar Louis for bloody marys. Someone said we went from Hail Marys to bloody marys. We sat around and visited for awhile and then everyone headed home.
Granddaughter, Ellen drove down, she said she dreaded seeing me, she was so sure my looks had altered - I think that comes later. She and I went to supper at MCallisters She is so close to tears over this situation. I worked to tease her out of it. I know she feels that way because she loves me. I tried to explain that this macabre sense of humor of mine, is what sustains me. She left about 7:00 p.m., headed for Grandma Rubys. I am so tired - emotionally drained - I went to bed. Marge called from up north and I told her the news. She was so glad to hear it hadn't spread. She and Keith are in Bemidji with Jackie, Dan and family. She'll be home next week. I am blessed with good friends and family and the positive thing about a terminal illness is everyone you love shows or says that they love you. Life is great!!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Journey - Two Years Later (Healing Mass)
July 16, 2010: My dear friend, Shirley Gauwitz had come by on Monday and said there was a healing Mass at St. Thomas on Thursday evening and she wanted me to go. There was a whole lot of upbeat music and hugging going on. When I went up to Communion (I had gone to Mass that morning), I asked for a blessing and Father Watson gave it to me and then said: "You know you can have Communion again. So I also took Communion. I am just not comfortable drinking from the cup anymore. I don't feel right now that I have cancer. (I do take Communion under both species now)
Shirley wanted me to be prayed over and so I went forward and let them pray for me. The people around me - about four of them - were speaking in tongues and I just kept saying to myself: "Thy will be done". I was very uncomfortable. I left there not feeling healed but realizing that the charismatic movement is not for me. Shirley is such a believer and I love it when she prays when we are all together and am amazed at her great natural faith. I am too much of a traditionalist. My faith is who I am and I love the quiet internal quality of our Faith.
When I got home I was telling Angela of my experience, and the phone rang. It was Msgr. Watson to explain that you can receive Communion every time you attend Mass. I knew that was true if you were the Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, but wasn't sure that it was true when just attending Mass. I expressed my feelings on the healing Mass and he assured me that it was okay not to feel comfortable at that kind of service and that there are different rites for different types. I suspect he could sense how I was feeling and that is why he really called. What a dear person he is.
July 17: Angela and I drove out to the cancer center for a PET scan. Thursday's MRI was for the brain to see if the cancer had spread there. The PET scan was to see if there was cancer in other parts of the body. He injected me with glucose and glucose gathers around the areas where there is cancer. I will get the results next Wednesday.
Had an e-mail from Jean. She said the physical therapist who works at the pool said that I will have an easier time with chemo. People over sixty with added weight seem to do better. A strange blessing.
When I was getting the PET scan, out of the blue came the thought of how many times over 52 years of marriage, I would be upset with Vern over some supposed insensitivity on his part and I would lie as close to the edge of the bed as possible, seething, making sure not to touch him or allow him to touch me. Laying so still during that test, I got an unbelievable longing to have him hold me, just to feel him breathe beside me and cradle me. Hugs from a friend or child just don't measure up to being held by your spouse. How silly we are to be mad or hold a grudge.
Shirley wanted me to be prayed over and so I went forward and let them pray for me. The people around me - about four of them - were speaking in tongues and I just kept saying to myself: "Thy will be done". I was very uncomfortable. I left there not feeling healed but realizing that the charismatic movement is not for me. Shirley is such a believer and I love it when she prays when we are all together and am amazed at her great natural faith. I am too much of a traditionalist. My faith is who I am and I love the quiet internal quality of our Faith.
When I got home I was telling Angela of my experience, and the phone rang. It was Msgr. Watson to explain that you can receive Communion every time you attend Mass. I knew that was true if you were the Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, but wasn't sure that it was true when just attending Mass. I expressed my feelings on the healing Mass and he assured me that it was okay not to feel comfortable at that kind of service and that there are different rites for different types. I suspect he could sense how I was feeling and that is why he really called. What a dear person he is.
July 17: Angela and I drove out to the cancer center for a PET scan. Thursday's MRI was for the brain to see if the cancer had spread there. The PET scan was to see if there was cancer in other parts of the body. He injected me with glucose and glucose gathers around the areas where there is cancer. I will get the results next Wednesday.
Had an e-mail from Jean. She said the physical therapist who works at the pool said that I will have an easier time with chemo. People over sixty with added weight seem to do better. A strange blessing.
When I was getting the PET scan, out of the blue came the thought of how many times over 52 years of marriage, I would be upset with Vern over some supposed insensitivity on his part and I would lie as close to the edge of the bed as possible, seething, making sure not to touch him or allow him to touch me. Laying so still during that test, I got an unbelievable longing to have him hold me, just to feel him breathe beside me and cradle me. Hugs from a friend or child just don't measure up to being held by your spouse. How silly we are to be mad or hold a grudge.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Shipwrecked - Part 3
During WWII, one of our Uncles was shipwrecked. After eleven days at sea, they reached land.
SEPTEMBER 2, 1942. Some of us laid there perhaps a half hour or more and then made shoes out of our lifebelts and went in search of water. About seven of us were unable to move, just laid in the shade on the beach. Red and I walked about a quarter of a mile down the beach to a boat house and there we found a few more of our crew. They were pretty well worn out and had found a coconut tree just outside but were unable to get any down. We laid down in the boathouse and again thought we were through. All except Red who went to soak himself in the sea. On the way back he found a coconut. Fleshman found an old blade and cut it open spilling some of the juice on the beach. We all got a couple of swallows a piece and then started licking what little was spilled on the beach with our tongue. In the meantime, Brinsko and Neal had found a native and had gotten a bucket of water down to the boat. We started back and almost didn't make it. Red and the Captain couldn't make it. Casey took water down to them. That Casey is sure a man. A little later he walked down to the natives house and got eggs, tea and ciggs.(cigarettes) Neal is okay too. He got on a horse with another native and rode about ten miles to an army outpost for help. Brinsko and V. Koepke (there were brothers on the ship) went up the beach the opposite way from us and got about a dozen coconuts. They sure were life savers. I didn't see where they got the strength. The Frenchman and the two natives brought tea and eggs and cooked them for us. I never in my life tasted anything as good as that tea. We drank about four pots as fast as he could make it and then he ran back after some more water.
Around about four o'clock we thought we heard motors, then we saw a soldier running over the hill leading some jeeps. I never saw anything that looked so good. There were tears in all of our eyes. They had all the water and ciggs we wanted. They loaded us into the jeeps and we started on a ride that none of us will ever forget. We went up a hill about 45 degrees over trees, rocks and everything. Those drivers and jeeps were like a polo player on a horse. They both seemed to work in perfect coordination.
After about an hour ride over hills and around curves that made you think you were on a roly coaster, we came to the outpost. Those big guys of the jeep patrol sure were nice to us. They gave us their coats and blankets and had pea soup and coffee. - talk about good. We stayed there that night and all night my cot seemed to be rolling and tossing. Next morning we rode seventy five miles in jeeps to a field hospital. There they treated us like kings with breakfast in bed and everything. We had all kinds of juices and everything. It was about three days before any of us could walk. It sure was an experience but I don't want any more of it.
Uncle Jack came back to Peoria after the war. Married and became a Peoria policeman. His log was read at a Bond Rally in Chicago and raised thousands of dollars.
SEPTEMBER 2, 1942. Some of us laid there perhaps a half hour or more and then made shoes out of our lifebelts and went in search of water. About seven of us were unable to move, just laid in the shade on the beach. Red and I walked about a quarter of a mile down the beach to a boat house and there we found a few more of our crew. They were pretty well worn out and had found a coconut tree just outside but were unable to get any down. We laid down in the boathouse and again thought we were through. All except Red who went to soak himself in the sea. On the way back he found a coconut. Fleshman found an old blade and cut it open spilling some of the juice on the beach. We all got a couple of swallows a piece and then started licking what little was spilled on the beach with our tongue. In the meantime, Brinsko and Neal had found a native and had gotten a bucket of water down to the boat. We started back and almost didn't make it. Red and the Captain couldn't make it. Casey took water down to them. That Casey is sure a man. A little later he walked down to the natives house and got eggs, tea and ciggs.(cigarettes) Neal is okay too. He got on a horse with another native and rode about ten miles to an army outpost for help. Brinsko and V. Koepke (there were brothers on the ship) went up the beach the opposite way from us and got about a dozen coconuts. They sure were life savers. I didn't see where they got the strength. The Frenchman and the two natives brought tea and eggs and cooked them for us. I never in my life tasted anything as good as that tea. We drank about four pots as fast as he could make it and then he ran back after some more water.
Around about four o'clock we thought we heard motors, then we saw a soldier running over the hill leading some jeeps. I never saw anything that looked so good. There were tears in all of our eyes. They had all the water and ciggs we wanted. They loaded us into the jeeps and we started on a ride that none of us will ever forget. We went up a hill about 45 degrees over trees, rocks and everything. Those drivers and jeeps were like a polo player on a horse. They both seemed to work in perfect coordination.
After about an hour ride over hills and around curves that made you think you were on a roly coaster, we came to the outpost. Those big guys of the jeep patrol sure were nice to us. They gave us their coats and blankets and had pea soup and coffee. - talk about good. We stayed there that night and all night my cot seemed to be rolling and tossing. Next morning we rode seventy five miles in jeeps to a field hospital. There they treated us like kings with breakfast in bed and everything. We had all kinds of juices and everything. It was about three days before any of us could walk. It sure was an experience but I don't want any more of it.
Uncle Jack came back to Peoria after the war. Married and became a Peoria policeman. His log was read at a Bond Rally in Chicago and raised thousands of dollars.
Shipwrecked - Part 2
A continuation of the log kept by our Uncle, Jack Scovil who served in the Navy in WWII. They have sighted a plane the day before.
AUGUST 29, 1942 Wind E.S.E. speed two and one half knots with sails and two men rowing.
0800. ceased rowing and issued breakfast. one and a half peaches and hard tack which was very hard to swallow. Shifted weak men from lifeboat to rubber boats. One man in rubber boat was very weak and ill. Issued two oz. of water to him. We suspected he had been drinking salt water. It was awful tempting. I almost did it myself a couple of times.
1600. had supper 1 and one half peaches, 1 sq of chocolate and hard tack if you could swallow it with the little saliva you had left.
1800. commenced rowing with sails. Very cold and wet tonight. Steering by moon and stars as there was no compass. Light wind shifted a little more eastward.
AUGUST 30, 1942. Ceased rowing and issued breakfast. Sure is clear and no sign of rain. We saw all kinds of fish. The Captain had us to make hooks and spears to catch fish with, but our attempts were unsuccessful. We saw big tuna everywhere and we could see them cooked in all sorts of ways. The Captain again warned the men about drinking salt water.
0949. the men in the last rubber boat said one of them, H.A. Middough, needed water. They started to pull themselves along side to get water and before they got up there he died. The Captain had a burial ceremony and it was something I'll never forget. After he was through with the ceremony and they started to lift him over the side, the colored mess boy that was with us started to sing a Negro spiritual. After he was lowered over the side you could see him floating around the boats yet. Then we all stopped and said some prayers for his soul and thought we'd reach port before another death.
1600. after supper I got Middough's pants. It was the first time I had on pants since our ship sunk.
AUGUST 31, 1942. Conditions the same.
0700. ceased rowing
0800. had breakfast
1130. sighted land dead ahead, distance about 40 miles. Everybody was afraid to say it was land because every morning the clouds on the horizon looked like land and we were always disappointed. Everybody was estimating what time we'd hit land. We hoped to get through some time today, maybe in the morning.
1400. gave extra water to sick man in rubber boat.
1430. gave him more water and again at 1500, I thought he was going to die.
1530. had supper
1700. we all got another slice and a half of peaches cause we figured we'd be in some time tonight.
SEPTEMBER 1, 1942. Started rowing with four oars plus sails.
0615. served breakfast. Conditions are the same. We are still a long way from land. It will take us longer than we expected, the sea and wind are with us. We hoped to land before midnight.
2300. crossed the first coral reef. We were awful lucky as it is claimed that it is impossible to find a clear spot. The water in some places is only three feet deep. We figured land to be very close. We rowed with renewed energy but could never see land. We rowed until we couldn't row any more and the tide was taking us toward the open sea so the Captain had us anchor with a bucket. Felt pretty bad before we anchored, we only had forty miles more north to go and we would have missed the island, thats the way the tide was taking us. I said a good Act of Contrition and thought my time had come. Funny I wasn't afraid to die only regretting I couldn't see the folks and Pet (his girl, Shirley Mason, who later became his wife) again.
SEPTEMBER 2, Served breakfast, commenced rowing toward the beach with six oars. The beach is approximately four miles. Looks awful close. Figured we will make it in an hour or so. We rowed and rowed and it seemed like someone kept pushing the beach away from us. Everybody could see coconuts and oranges all along the beach. The sea is calm and little wind and it's good rowing. We reached the beach about 1030, secured the boats at the waters edge. I'm pretty sure all hands knelt down and thanked God for a safe landing before falling exhausted to the beach.
AUGUST 29, 1942 Wind E.S.E. speed two and one half knots with sails and two men rowing.
0800. ceased rowing and issued breakfast. one and a half peaches and hard tack which was very hard to swallow. Shifted weak men from lifeboat to rubber boats. One man in rubber boat was very weak and ill. Issued two oz. of water to him. We suspected he had been drinking salt water. It was awful tempting. I almost did it myself a couple of times.
1600. had supper 1 and one half peaches, 1 sq of chocolate and hard tack if you could swallow it with the little saliva you had left.
1800. commenced rowing with sails. Very cold and wet tonight. Steering by moon and stars as there was no compass. Light wind shifted a little more eastward.
AUGUST 30, 1942. Ceased rowing and issued breakfast. Sure is clear and no sign of rain. We saw all kinds of fish. The Captain had us to make hooks and spears to catch fish with, but our attempts were unsuccessful. We saw big tuna everywhere and we could see them cooked in all sorts of ways. The Captain again warned the men about drinking salt water.
0949. the men in the last rubber boat said one of them, H.A. Middough, needed water. They started to pull themselves along side to get water and before they got up there he died. The Captain had a burial ceremony and it was something I'll never forget. After he was through with the ceremony and they started to lift him over the side, the colored mess boy that was with us started to sing a Negro spiritual. After he was lowered over the side you could see him floating around the boats yet. Then we all stopped and said some prayers for his soul and thought we'd reach port before another death.
1600. after supper I got Middough's pants. It was the first time I had on pants since our ship sunk.
AUGUST 31, 1942. Conditions the same.
0700. ceased rowing
0800. had breakfast
1130. sighted land dead ahead, distance about 40 miles. Everybody was afraid to say it was land because every morning the clouds on the horizon looked like land and we were always disappointed. Everybody was estimating what time we'd hit land. We hoped to get through some time today, maybe in the morning.
1400. gave extra water to sick man in rubber boat.
1430. gave him more water and again at 1500, I thought he was going to die.
1530. had supper
1700. we all got another slice and a half of peaches cause we figured we'd be in some time tonight.
SEPTEMBER 1, 1942. Started rowing with four oars plus sails.
0615. served breakfast. Conditions are the same. We are still a long way from land. It will take us longer than we expected, the sea and wind are with us. We hoped to land before midnight.
2300. crossed the first coral reef. We were awful lucky as it is claimed that it is impossible to find a clear spot. The water in some places is only three feet deep. We figured land to be very close. We rowed with renewed energy but could never see land. We rowed until we couldn't row any more and the tide was taking us toward the open sea so the Captain had us anchor with a bucket. Felt pretty bad before we anchored, we only had forty miles more north to go and we would have missed the island, thats the way the tide was taking us. I said a good Act of Contrition and thought my time had come. Funny I wasn't afraid to die only regretting I couldn't see the folks and Pet (his girl, Shirley Mason, who later became his wife) again.
SEPTEMBER 2, Served breakfast, commenced rowing toward the beach with six oars. The beach is approximately four miles. Looks awful close. Figured we will make it in an hour or so. We rowed and rowed and it seemed like someone kept pushing the beach away from us. Everybody could see coconuts and oranges all along the beach. The sea is calm and little wind and it's good rowing. We reached the beach about 1030, secured the boats at the waters edge. I'm pretty sure all hands knelt down and thanked God for a safe landing before falling exhausted to the beach.
Shipwrecked - Part 1
In August, 1942, seventy years ago, our Uncle Jack Scovil was on the USS Lakatoi. He kept the log for the ship. This is his account of what happened.
AUGUST 22, 1942. About 12 o'clock we were steaming along on a course N.N.W magnitude. Speed about 7 knots, almost full speed. Strong E.S.E winds, heavy swell and sea. They looked like mountains. Ship was rolling and taking on a lot of water about waist deep in port side of main deck. Position Lat. 19.03' S. Long. 167.40E' wherever that is.
1300. Ship took on more water on port side, listing about 50 degrees to port. Getting worried, Provost asked us if she'd turn over and we laughed at him. Forward end of the port lifeboat carried away. Had to cut the after falls to release the boat from the ship. Captain thought she'd right herself. Borrowed Casey's knife and cut her loose.
1303. ship out of control and turning over on port side. The Captain, Lt. Comdr. McPherson gave orders to abandon ship, but I never heard him, hardly any of the crew did, but we left just the same. The ship sank about 25 seconds later. In about 14 minutes all hands were in lifeboats and two rubber boats. All well except Connelly who was cut pretty bad about his back and legs. There were 13 men in life boats and 16 in the two rubber boats. The sea is very rough and the swells are like mountains. Somehow we managed to secure the two rubber boats astern of the life boat. Due to the heavy sea it was necessary to keep four men on the oars to keep her headed into the sea. Two were bailing while the rest of us prayed like we never prayed before. The boats were drifting W.N.W at all times, approximately one knot per hour. It didn't seem like we were going anywhere except up and down. It was like riding a roller coaster while someone kept throwing buckets of water at you every second or so. At 2300 last rubber boat overturned. With a heavy swell and the help of God it was up righted without a casualty, only scared the hell out of us.
AUGUST 23, 1942. Drifting W. and N. approximately one knot per hour. At 0800 issued breakfast which consisted of 2 oz. water, hard tack and 2 sq. of chocolate per man (big feed). The sea still very rough and cold. To get the feeling, try going to sleep in a bushel basket with someone throwing cold water on you. At 1500 issued supper which consisted of two oz of tomatoes, hard tack and six malt tablets. Tablets remind me of all the malted milks I used to drink.
AUGUST 24,1942 Sea and weather the same, drifting West one knot per hour. At 0800 issued breakfast which consisted of 2 oz water, hard tack and 2 sq. of chocolate. Swore if I ever got out alive I'd have tomatoes at every meal. Sighted school of sharks, a little scared but aged about ten years when they kept on following us day and night. They had a lot of patience and a look in their eyes like a sailor on liberty.
1100. heard and sighted two patrol bombers about 20 miles N. but they soon disappeared in the clouds. It is very cold but not quite so wet, still drifting West.
AUGUST 25. Sea has calmed down a little. We can see the boats ahead more often now.(other crew members in other life boats) We stepped the mast and rigged the sails setting course S and W, estimated speed is three knots. The rubber boats being very hard to tow were carrying us to leeward. We hoped and prayed to hit New Caledonia. I was thinking of Captain Bly and Mutiny on the Bounty and hoped Captain McPherson knew as much as he did.
Constantly shipping heavy spray making it necessary to bail all the time. At 1600 issued supper. No water was issued because there was only a half gallon left for all.
2000. wind shifted westward. We set the course S and E and settled down to a nice night of shivering. Speed about 2 knots.
AUGUST 26. Conditions same. Men are pretty hungry, licking cans with their tongues.
AUGUST 27. 0000. Commenced rowing with two men at oars. Course S and E. Weather cold and shipping heavy seas.
0800. issued breakfast which consisted of 3 slices of peaches. We all thought that was a big meal. Wind is very light. Took in sail and transferred eight men from rubber boat to row in shifts of one hour on and two hours off. Awful hard work. Making very little headway.
0900. tried to condense water, didn't work and our gear caught fire and almost burned up the sail and everything. We all had to swallow our hearts about four times before we could say a prayer of thanks. Ceased rowing at 1600.
2100. set sail on westerly course.
2200. wind ceased. Dropped sail and put two men on oars.
AUGUST 28. 0100. set sail with light S. winds with four men rowing at all times at half hour shifts. No sign of sharks today and most hands went swimming. Sure was great, reminded me of going swimming at Proctor and home. Funny the things you think about at a time like this, they're not important things - just small ones. I think I thought of everything I've seen or done out there.
1330. was saying the Litany of Blessed Virgin praying for a rescue plane. When I heard the roar of a motor I thought I might be hearing things. I looked up at the other guys and a couple of them seemed to hear it too. Then one of them saw it heading for us. Everybody was excited and started shouting and waving their arms and shirts and stuff. The captained showed a red flare but the plane passed approximately 1/4 mile astern of us without giving a recognition signal and disappeared over the horizon. We all expected a rescue party either that night or early next morning. We could all see ourselves drinking Joe (coffee) aboard a destroyer or some kind of a ship. At 1345 issued 2 oz of water and ceased rowing . That was a lot of water. The reason we got it was we expected a rescue soon.
1600. issued supper 2 oz of tomatoes and one sq of chocolate.
1800. took in sail keeping two men on oars throughout the night to prevent drifting the wrong way. Began to get uneasy feeling when nothing showed up in the way of a rescue ship.
(early next morning) 0800. issued breakfast. three slices of peaches. All hands were kidding themselves about what time a rescue ship would show up. Began to lose hope in the afternoon.
AUGUST 22, 1942. About 12 o'clock we were steaming along on a course N.N.W magnitude. Speed about 7 knots, almost full speed. Strong E.S.E winds, heavy swell and sea. They looked like mountains. Ship was rolling and taking on a lot of water about waist deep in port side of main deck. Position Lat. 19.03' S. Long. 167.40E' wherever that is.
1300. Ship took on more water on port side, listing about 50 degrees to port. Getting worried, Provost asked us if she'd turn over and we laughed at him. Forward end of the port lifeboat carried away. Had to cut the after falls to release the boat from the ship. Captain thought she'd right herself. Borrowed Casey's knife and cut her loose.
1303. ship out of control and turning over on port side. The Captain, Lt. Comdr. McPherson gave orders to abandon ship, but I never heard him, hardly any of the crew did, but we left just the same. The ship sank about 25 seconds later. In about 14 minutes all hands were in lifeboats and two rubber boats. All well except Connelly who was cut pretty bad about his back and legs. There were 13 men in life boats and 16 in the two rubber boats. The sea is very rough and the swells are like mountains. Somehow we managed to secure the two rubber boats astern of the life boat. Due to the heavy sea it was necessary to keep four men on the oars to keep her headed into the sea. Two were bailing while the rest of us prayed like we never prayed before. The boats were drifting W.N.W at all times, approximately one knot per hour. It didn't seem like we were going anywhere except up and down. It was like riding a roller coaster while someone kept throwing buckets of water at you every second or so. At 2300 last rubber boat overturned. With a heavy swell and the help of God it was up righted without a casualty, only scared the hell out of us.
AUGUST 23, 1942. Drifting W. and N. approximately one knot per hour. At 0800 issued breakfast which consisted of 2 oz. water, hard tack and 2 sq. of chocolate per man (big feed). The sea still very rough and cold. To get the feeling, try going to sleep in a bushel basket with someone throwing cold water on you. At 1500 issued supper which consisted of two oz of tomatoes, hard tack and six malt tablets. Tablets remind me of all the malted milks I used to drink.
AUGUST 24,1942 Sea and weather the same, drifting West one knot per hour. At 0800 issued breakfast which consisted of 2 oz water, hard tack and 2 sq. of chocolate. Swore if I ever got out alive I'd have tomatoes at every meal. Sighted school of sharks, a little scared but aged about ten years when they kept on following us day and night. They had a lot of patience and a look in their eyes like a sailor on liberty.
1100. heard and sighted two patrol bombers about 20 miles N. but they soon disappeared in the clouds. It is very cold but not quite so wet, still drifting West.
AUGUST 25. Sea has calmed down a little. We can see the boats ahead more often now.(other crew members in other life boats) We stepped the mast and rigged the sails setting course S and W, estimated speed is three knots. The rubber boats being very hard to tow were carrying us to leeward. We hoped and prayed to hit New Caledonia. I was thinking of Captain Bly and Mutiny on the Bounty and hoped Captain McPherson knew as much as he did.
Constantly shipping heavy spray making it necessary to bail all the time. At 1600 issued supper. No water was issued because there was only a half gallon left for all.
2000. wind shifted westward. We set the course S and E and settled down to a nice night of shivering. Speed about 2 knots.
AUGUST 26. Conditions same. Men are pretty hungry, licking cans with their tongues.
AUGUST 27. 0000. Commenced rowing with two men at oars. Course S and E. Weather cold and shipping heavy seas.
0800. issued breakfast which consisted of 3 slices of peaches. We all thought that was a big meal. Wind is very light. Took in sail and transferred eight men from rubber boat to row in shifts of one hour on and two hours off. Awful hard work. Making very little headway.
0900. tried to condense water, didn't work and our gear caught fire and almost burned up the sail and everything. We all had to swallow our hearts about four times before we could say a prayer of thanks. Ceased rowing at 1600.
2100. set sail on westerly course.
2200. wind ceased. Dropped sail and put two men on oars.
AUGUST 28. 0100. set sail with light S. winds with four men rowing at all times at half hour shifts. No sign of sharks today and most hands went swimming. Sure was great, reminded me of going swimming at Proctor and home. Funny the things you think about at a time like this, they're not important things - just small ones. I think I thought of everything I've seen or done out there.
1330. was saying the Litany of Blessed Virgin praying for a rescue plane. When I heard the roar of a motor I thought I might be hearing things. I looked up at the other guys and a couple of them seemed to hear it too. Then one of them saw it heading for us. Everybody was excited and started shouting and waving their arms and shirts and stuff. The captained showed a red flare but the plane passed approximately 1/4 mile astern of us without giving a recognition signal and disappeared over the horizon. We all expected a rescue party either that night or early next morning. We could all see ourselves drinking Joe (coffee) aboard a destroyer or some kind of a ship. At 1345 issued 2 oz of water and ceased rowing . That was a lot of water. The reason we got it was we expected a rescue soon.
1600. issued supper 2 oz of tomatoes and one sq of chocolate.
1800. took in sail keeping two men on oars throughout the night to prevent drifting the wrong way. Began to get uneasy feeling when nothing showed up in the way of a rescue ship.
(early next morning) 0800. issued breakfast. three slices of peaches. All hands were kidding themselves about what time a rescue ship would show up. Began to lose hope in the afternoon.
Friday, August 10, 2012
TREES
A poem lovely as a tree
A tree that looks at God all day
And lifts it's leafy arms to pray...
When we moved to the house in Washington in August of 1969, there were two apple trees on the back of the property and another apple tree about half way up the east side of the three plus acres we owned. And in the front yard was this immense soft maple that was our only shade for many years - the only picture of which I could find is taken in winter. We played croquet under that tree, the girls played Barbies, We sat in the cool shade of a summer evening until the flies got too bad because the neighbor across the road kept hogs.
One day the next spring, I bought two soft maples from Kelly Seeds for $25.00, and Vern went ballistic because I had spent so much money. He told me to go down to the old house on Martin Street and pick up some of the maple seeds in the street and I did - I did everything he said!!! - and he planted a whole row of maples in the garden. As they grew, he transplanted them to other places in the yard.
A friend, Merle Dickey, was an engineer for the state of Illinois and was working on making Peoria Street in Washington
four lanes and stopped by to visit one day. There were a lot of rocks on the property, that we had stacked near one of the barns. He asked if he could have the rocks as he was building a fireplace in his house outside Metamora. He had some pine trees he would trade. So we planted pine trees.
My Mother bought two blue spruce at a nursery in Wenona and with great ceremony brought them out, gathered the daughters around and as they were planted, she pointed to one and noted that it represented her and the other Dad. And that long after they were gone, the spruces would represent them.
Vern's dad gave us some walnut trees from Missouri and one of them survived. Tony was still planting walnut trees in his 80s. It's a great person, who plants slow growing seedlings knowing he will never see them bear fruit. That its all for the future.
My sister, Judy, worked for the USDA and every year, farmers could buy white pine seedlings. One year the farmer who had ordered them, didn't pick them up, so Judy bought 100 little white pines for under ten dollars and brought them up to us. I still remember the day we planted those little suckers. That was an awful long time to be on my knees!!
We put in fences for the ponies and once they were gone, elms and soft maples grew down in that area and slowly became woods.
The rest of the story: One day I was reading in Yankee magazine about a man who built a path through his woods. Vern read it, and decided to do the same thing. He built a bridge over the creek, put in steps, benches and a fire pit. We planted hostas, violets and day lilies in various places. It was the loveliest place, always cool and we sat down there often contemplating life.
The 100 white pines from the USDA, except for a few used as Christmas trees are still there and became our buffer when they built the Walmart Super Store in Washington. We did not have to look out the back and see all that.
The walnut tree grew and produced walnuts that were absconded by the squirrels.
A few months after the planting of the blue spruces. Leah, who took things quite literally, came into the kitchen crying and said: "I was mowing and mowed down Grampa." "Mom" is still growing along the field road and is a magnificent specimen of what a blue spruce should be.
Merle and Greta Dickey's fireplace is magnificent. The room it's in has a two story ceiling. Quite beautiful. And the groves of pines still flourish in the yard.
One of my two "expensive" maples was right behind the screened in porch on the back of the house. We watched birds hatch their young from that tree. Our dog Duffy, went berserk when he spied squirrels up there. And the onery squirrels bedeviled him because they knew they were safe. And it was a great tree climbing tree for grandchildren. My mind still sees them sitting in the branches.
The apple tree close to the house, one evening we were having dinner and there was a big window by the table and we watched it come out of the ground and fall over. Pretty memorable. One of the apple trees in the back was still there when I moved away.
But what precipitated this blog was today I was in Washington and drove by the old house and our wonderful old tree in the front is gone. I don't know when it was taken down but the family who lives there put a wood burning stove in the living room and I am sure they used our stalwart friend to give them comfort in a new way. The cycle of life.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Journey - Two Years Later (Meeting Dr. G)
A little more from the journal I kept in 2010, when I was diagnosed with cancer.
July 8, 2010: Lora and Claudia (Vern's sister Mary's daughter) will be coming in tonight or tomorrow morning. I am so glad they are coming with me to the oncologist. Two women who will be aware as to what Dr. Gerstner says. Angela is here and the four of us went to the Illinois Cancer Center. It's a beautiful complex out off Route 91. We were early and after prelim's - getting into the system - we were ushered up to Pod 4 and then into an examining room to wait for Dr. G. Claudia, who is a nurse, said later that when he walked in, he looked so young, that she wanted to stand up and tell him to go back and get his dad (Coincidentally, his dad is one of the founders of the Cancer Center and recently retired). He asked some questions, pulled up something on the computer and sat at a small desk with his back to me - I was sitting on the exam table, the two daughters/niece were sitting on chairs next to Dr. G's desk. He began a lot of medical jargon, that I was only half aware of. Mary's s-i-l, Denise, - who is also a nurse - had given us a list of questions to ask. Lora and Claudia were writing down what he was saying. Pretty much what he said is that I have Stage 4, small cell cancer. Radiation and surgery are not an option. The type of chemo will be determined after I have a pet scan and MRI this week. He did say it was a slow growing cancer and he suspects it is in other parts of my body.
Claudia told me not to be scared last night and I'm not. I'm resigned, at peace, a little sad because I love my life. I am blessed, my daughters are wonderful. I'd like to have a miracle and stay around for awhile but in my heart I know it's not going to happen.
I feel so bad for people when they find out what's going on. Ed Murray today at Church - there was a Mass for Vern at St. Patricks - was so choked up. Poor Sue was beside herself. I am blessed with the people God has given me to know. Lots of love. Dr. G said to me on Friday because the three were there with me: "Well, it looks like you have a good support system". and one of them answered: "This is nothing, you would not believe her support system!"
About Dr. Gerstner: when he first started talking he was very by the book, facing the computer and looking down but as our meeting progressed he brought his chair closer and closer to me. At the end of the meeting and the questioning from everyone, he was sitting right next to me leaning his elbow on the exam table. Body language tells a lot doesn't it. I like him, I believe we will journey well together.
July 17: At the doctors office on the 9th - which was my 74th birthday ("How did you celebrate your
birthday, Norma?" Oh, I had a grand time I got diagnosed with lung cancer!!!!!) - the staff asked for a picture ID and when I took out my drivers license, I noticed that it expired that day, on Friday, the 9th. Drove to Mass on Sunday, but Monday went nowhere. And Tuesday, I was at the DMV at 8:05. Only cost $5.00. is there a senior discount? While waiting to be photographed, a mom and two sons came in. You could tell by their excitement that the older son was getting his first drivers license and the younger son was thinking this was a pretty cool day too. By the time I was done with the picture, etc. and leaving, he was heading to the car to take the driving portion of the test. I asked the mom, if it was his first time and she answered with a wistful yes. And I noted to her that it was a great day. Weepy moment: I couldn't help but think it is probably my last drivers license.
On the way home I decided to stop at the new HyVee store in Sheridan Village. Very, very nice, and everyone was smiling and friendly - this was opening day. Sue (Sepich) was here when I got home. She had broken down at Church Sunday but today we laughed and talked. This whole cancer thing is really hard on my friends and family
July 8, 2010: Lora and Claudia (Vern's sister Mary's daughter) will be coming in tonight or tomorrow morning. I am so glad they are coming with me to the oncologist. Two women who will be aware as to what Dr. Gerstner says. Angela is here and the four of us went to the Illinois Cancer Center. It's a beautiful complex out off Route 91. We were early and after prelim's - getting into the system - we were ushered up to Pod 4 and then into an examining room to wait for Dr. G. Claudia, who is a nurse, said later that when he walked in, he looked so young, that she wanted to stand up and tell him to go back and get his dad (Coincidentally, his dad is one of the founders of the Cancer Center and recently retired). He asked some questions, pulled up something on the computer and sat at a small desk with his back to me - I was sitting on the exam table, the two daughters/niece were sitting on chairs next to Dr. G's desk. He began a lot of medical jargon, that I was only half aware of. Mary's s-i-l, Denise, - who is also a nurse - had given us a list of questions to ask. Lora and Claudia were writing down what he was saying. Pretty much what he said is that I have Stage 4, small cell cancer. Radiation and surgery are not an option. The type of chemo will be determined after I have a pet scan and MRI this week. He did say it was a slow growing cancer and he suspects it is in other parts of my body.
Claudia told me not to be scared last night and I'm not. I'm resigned, at peace, a little sad because I love my life. I am blessed, my daughters are wonderful. I'd like to have a miracle and stay around for awhile but in my heart I know it's not going to happen.
I feel so bad for people when they find out what's going on. Ed Murray today at Church - there was a Mass for Vern at St. Patricks - was so choked up. Poor Sue was beside herself. I am blessed with the people God has given me to know. Lots of love. Dr. G said to me on Friday because the three were there with me: "Well, it looks like you have a good support system". and one of them answered: "This is nothing, you would not believe her support system!"
About Dr. Gerstner: when he first started talking he was very by the book, facing the computer and looking down but as our meeting progressed he brought his chair closer and closer to me. At the end of the meeting and the questioning from everyone, he was sitting right next to me leaning his elbow on the exam table. Body language tells a lot doesn't it. I like him, I believe we will journey well together.
July 17: At the doctors office on the 9th - which was my 74th birthday ("How did you celebrate your
birthday, Norma?" Oh, I had a grand time I got diagnosed with lung cancer!!!!!) - the staff asked for a picture ID and when I took out my drivers license, I noticed that it expired that day, on Friday, the 9th. Drove to Mass on Sunday, but Monday went nowhere. And Tuesday, I was at the DMV at 8:05. Only cost $5.00. is there a senior discount? While waiting to be photographed, a mom and two sons came in. You could tell by their excitement that the older son was getting his first drivers license and the younger son was thinking this was a pretty cool day too. By the time I was done with the picture, etc. and leaving, he was heading to the car to take the driving portion of the test. I asked the mom, if it was his first time and she answered with a wistful yes. And I noted to her that it was a great day. Weepy moment: I couldn't help but think it is probably my last drivers license.
On the way home I decided to stop at the new HyVee store in Sheridan Village. Very, very nice, and everyone was smiling and friendly - this was opening day. Sue (Sepich) was here when I got home. She had broken down at Church Sunday but today we laughed and talked. This whole cancer thing is really hard on my friends and family
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