When this whole cancer thing started, I kept a journal through June to October. I was looking for something else and found it . "From the journal " is written in italics.
At the end of June, 2010, my left foot and leg started swelling and remained so for several days. When I called Dr. Mulcahy, she sent me immediately to the Emergency room. She suspected a blood clot. The results of the sonogram of the left leg showed nothing so they did a sonogram of my lung and the emergency room doctor told me they suspected lung cancer and that I should make an appointment with a pulmonary specialist. Hearing I had cancer was so shocking, I have never smoked. I was really amazed. When I pulled in the driveway at home, I teared up, seeing this little house that I love and maybe not being able to live here a long time made me sad. I called Carol across the street - she's a teaching nurse at Methodist. She said to come over. Spending an hour with Carol and Mary really calmed me. I am so grateful for their time. Dr. Whitten scheduled a Thorasenthesis for June 28. Angela came down to be with me. Last week was a long week, I've felt like there's an axe hanging over my head. I fluctuate between total despair and resignation to faith inspired hope. I have not felt like praying a lot of the time or attending daily Mass. Just feel drained of faith most of the time. I have asked for prayer from friends and family and I think their prayers are what are sustaining me.
June 29th: I went to Mass this morning and asked Msgr. Watson to anoint me with the Sacrament of the Sick. He did and I thanked him and he said: "I love when people ask for Sacraments". What a good person he is.
July 1, 2010: Well today, I got the diagnosis. It's lung cancer. When I said to Msgr. Swaner, "I've never even smoked", and he said, ",but you've been a chimney." meaning second hand smoke. I called Maureen and she called the other daughters, called Judy to let the sisters know, called Marge but no answer, called Bill and he said: " Phyllis is in town and I'm going to tell her to come right over." She was here in a short time. She and I were fixing a dish of ice cream and Bill appeared at the door. So we had Culver's Frozen yogurt with pecans topped with Lemoncello and caramel or chocolate. Not bad!! I really thought I wanted to be alone but having them here helped. Good, good friends.
July 3: Had dinner at Red Lobster - love those cheese biscuits - with Doug Opper and Maureen. He was exactly what both of us needed. We laughed all through dinner. Then back to the house for Lemoncello over ice. Question: how many bottles of liqueur on ice sustains you when you have lung cancer???
July 6: The fourth was a lovely day. Maureen and I went to Mass and breakfast, lazed around most of the day and then about 8:30 in the evening, we put a couple of lawn chairs in the trunk - just in case - and headed towards the waterfront. Leah was with us. we found a parking place at an empty building's lot, walked about a block and a half, set up our chairs a little below the crowd - alongside Hooters - and saw an amazing fireworks display. For a a flash, I wondered if this is my last Fourth fireworks, but I can't go there. This can't be a year of lasts, that's defeating my spirit.
Another thought about the fireworks, at the end when they are coming right down over us and not stopping, I felt overwhelmed and almost agitated and remember thinking: "is this what heaven is like, this overwhelming spectacular?"
Here it is two years later, and I am still going strong. I've had chemo and survived. I've had some wonderful adventures and some difficult times. But I am still here. And from time to time, I may blog other things from this Journey.
The rest of the story..... Leah was with us: Our family believes that our daughter/sister/neice/cousin/aunt is in heaven. And the reason we believe that is because Leah who never learned to drive finds us parking spots at and in the most unbelievable places. A time that really made believers of us was when we were at Wall Drug Store in South Dakota about fourteen years ago and if you've ever been there it is a tourist trap extraordinaire, and we drove by and Ellen who was eight years old at the time, asked for Leah to find us a
parking spot close by, and one opened up right in front.
The swelling in my left leg: It went away and has never come back. The doctors don't seem to know why. I believe it was Our Lord saying: " get your butt to the doctor, you got a problem".
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