Buying Mother's Day cards for daughters who are mother's themselves, makes you reflect on all the stages of their lives and the fact that giving birth to a daughter and having a daughter are two different things. (The former is a natural act with some hardship and a little pain that is over in a few hours. The latter is a calculated risk with some hardship and a lot of gain that lasts for life, hers and yours.)
Having daughters can be a long term economic investment. It's years before you see any profits. First there is the expense of years and years of formal education, from nursery school to college. Plus all those countless hours of teaching her 'how-to' experiences and basic social skills. Also, there are the medical expenses, baby shots, school shots, allergy shots and braces, eye glasses and then contacts. And because she's sure to lose them, contacts and more contacts!!
Then comes the day, when some fellow with testosterone oozing from his veins comes ambling along and without a backward glance she's gone to a new life.
The gains, however, far outweigh the risks.
Nothing prepares you for the way a baby nuzzles into your neck when you hold her close. One of the best times is having her take those first tentative steps to your outstretched hands or having her snuggle beside you while she's engrossed in her favorite television program or while you're reading - again - her 'bestest' book.
Her accomplishments - learning to ride a bike, playing her fist clarinet piece all the way through, winning a blue ribbon at the State Fair, or coming in first at the track meet, can overwhelm you. There's also her pride - and yours - in actually wearing something she's made as a 4-H project, and watching her perform at one of those endless dance recitals can make your heart burst.
And then there's sitting in bleachers. One of those parental obligations about which you have mixed feelings. Nothing is as uncomfortable as bleachers but you'd never miss watching her in a school play or concert, playing a sport or cheer leading and, of course, graduations. Usually sometime during one of those times she will make eye contact with you, a slight wave or a wink or just that look that says, "I'm glad you're here".
The first time you visit her at work and the receptionist announces you with, "Oh, yes, we've been expecting you". And then the smile that's in your daughter's voice and eyes as she comes to usher you into her office.
There is no way to describe the experience of watching her on those special occasions: The innocent stance as she receives First Communion, the way her eyes glisten as she glides downstairs in her prom dress, the confident march at graduations and the self-assured stroll as she walks into the Church on her wedding day on her father's arm.
There comes a time when you cease to be just mother and daughter. You become women friends with a special bond. Friends who trust each other and care for each other. These are the best times. These are the times that make all that came before worthwhile. And best of all, when you see your daughter as a loving, caring mother and she says, "Mom, I never appreciated all you did until I had a baby of my own." Then you begin to know that maybe somewhere, sometime, you did something right.
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