Detailing The Bill

      Some years back, while having lunch with my friend, Edie - who at the time was Bishop John Myers secretary - she told me that there were all kinds of papers and such  in file cabinets in a back room of the basement of  St. Marys rectory.  Me, with an interest in history, said I'd be glad to sort through what was there.  Permission came for me to proceed and I did.  Periodically, I'd find something of interest and the Bishop would tell me a little of the history of what I had found.  There were a lot of worthwhile items found, enough that the Diocese hired an archivist  and now there is a museum on the first floor of the new Diocesan building.
       This is a copy of a paper found in one of the files.  I thought it was clever.  Sort of 'Ecclesiastical humor'.  There is no date on it but I'm assuming it is quite old.  The title is above.

              An old Church in Belgium decided to repair its properties and employed an artist to touch up a large painting.  Upon presenting his bill the committee in charge refused payment unless the details were specified, whereupon he presented the items as follows:

To correct the Ten Commandments..............................................5.12

Embellishing Pontius Pilate and putting new ribbons on his hat......................................3.09

Putting new tail on rooster of St. Peter and mending his comb......................................2.20

Replumbing and gilding left wing of Guardian Angel................. ................5.18

Washing the servant of the High Priest and putting carmine on his cheeks...............5.02

Renewing Heaven, adjusting the stars and cleaning up the moon..................  7.14

Touching up purgatory and restoring lost souls.........................................................3.06

Brightening up the names on Hell, putting new tail on the Devil,
mending his hoof, and doing several odd jobs for the damned................................. 7.10

Rebordering the robes of Herod and adjusting his wig.............................................4.00

Taking spots off the son of Tobias............................................................... ..1.30

Putting earrings in Sarah's ears....................................................................1.71

Putting new stone in David's sling, enlarging the head of Goliath,
and extending Saul's leg..................................................................................6.13

Decorating Noah's Ark and putting a head on Shem....................................4.31

Mending the shirt of the Prodigal Son and cleaning his ears..........................3.30