It was bound to happen.  For the last year, every time I would have a meeting with the doctor,  the diagnosis was always the same: a little more activity in the plura (lining) of the lung but nothing to be concerned about at this time.  Because I wanted to talk to him about maybe not coming out to see him anymore - I felt that I was wasting his time and it's a long way out to Route 91 - I decided to go to my appointment alone.
      Well, so much for making plans.  I had had a PET Scan on the 17th of the month and when he began to talk to me this time, I stopped him and asked if he would tell all of this to Maureen - the only daughter who has a Peoria phone line.  He dialed and when she answered he put her on the speaker phone.  The three of us discussed options and other things.  She wrote about our conversation in an e-mail to her sisters.  It follows:

I just spoke with Mom and Dr. Gerstner.
 There is some thickening of the pleural lining and increased activity compared to the PET scan she had a year ago.  The thickening is significant.  But according to Dr. Gerstner, the cancer "is not going gangbusters and it hasn't spread outside the lung."

Her option is more chemo.  They're looking into the tablet chemo, which allows her a little more freedom to travel.  Side effects are minimal (acne, diarrhea).  She can also do IV chemo again, but she didn't like the side effects (lethargy and weakness) from that.  He's suggesting a different IV cocktail, and thinks it's a good option because she had such great success with the first round.  He feels her "slow-growing variety of cancer"  is a good thing that allows us to fight it.

      So now I have to decide what to do.  I really hated the lethargy with the chemo treatment.  I missed concert dates and going out with friends, I just had no energy.  But I have had a year of good times.  Trips to the West Coast, Hawaii, Italy and getting more active in the Church Community here at St. Thomas.  I love traveling and being involved in Parish life.  If I go back to the treatments, I will have to depend on family and friends again.  The daughters were so wonderful through everything in 2010.  They took time out from their lives to be here with me.  As did my sister, Judy.  I really don't feel comfortable asking for all that time again. Yes, as they read this they are protesting, that they would do it again gladly, but all of them have other people in their lives to think about and they all have careers to consider.
      I am so blessed, I've had a wonderful life.  I cannot believe the opportunities I've had, the things I've seen and done.  And the people God has put in my life have been amazing.  I told the doctor I would let him know what I plan to do March 6.  Right now, I'm thinking to just do nothing and spend what time I have easing out with dignity. I'm much more concerned with my sister, Carol, who is having a biopsy this week because they have found a mass in her pelvis and in nephew, Chris, who had surgery earlier this week for cancer.  Chris has two darling daughters, is 45 and a firefighter and has a lot to do.  There should be our focus right now.