The last couple of days, have been filled with soul-searching. Two women I know have died of Lung Cancer in the last three days. Both of them diagnosed after I was. When our friend, Russ died in May - we were diagnosed on the same day - I felt the same way. I'm probably dealing with 'survivor's remorse'. Survivors of fatal crashes sometimes experience it. When talking to daughter Mary, she said, as did her sister, Alissa: "God's got something for you to do yet". Well maybe...but the question remains: When will the other shoe drop?
Looking for solace, I found this prayer by Thomas Merton:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me.
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