A Good Cause

     This morning I received a favorite blog:  Writing - It's My Thing http://amykennard.blogspot.com     The blog entitled A Birthday 5K? OK!
I was surprised and overwhelmed.  I hope you will read Amy's story and consider contributing to Lungevity, I did.

New Pledge of Allegiance

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word "God" is mentioned, a kid in Arizona wrote the attached new school prayer.  Vern's cousin, Virgina Frye sent this and she commented, "I hope the kid got an A+"



Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,

it violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all..

in silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such 'judgements' do not belong..


We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles..

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

it's scary here I must confess

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen


 

Leah Marie

Fifty five years ago, today, I gave birth to our first daughter.  She was the smallest of the group, 6 pounds, 11 ounces, and 20 inches long.  Blue eyes and a smattering of dark blonde hair - fingers and toes all there (It was always the first thing I checked when I saw them for the first time).  Back in those days, they gave us a drug, and when we woke up, we had stitches and in the morning  - babies seem mostly to be born at night - they brought us on long carts our babies to attempt to nurse for the first time. 
     I was ready to try this most natural way to feed our children but no matter how much we tried, Leah just could not get the idea to nurse.  She could not swallow as well, so the nurses fed her with a rubber dropper.  She lost a lot of weight and after five days I came home and she was transferred to the nursery and they fed her intravenously.  After about another week, we brought her home and fed her with the eye dropper and then Vern bought a soft lambs nipple and we put it on my baby bottle and pushing the nipple against the roof of her mouth and massaging her throat, we taught her to swallow.  We fed her every two hours, she hardly ever cried and if we hadn't been on that two hour schedule she wouldn't have let us know she was hungry.  Dr. Ed Ward, our family doctor, once she was swallowing, suggested we put a little pablum - cereal - in the milk to give her a little more nourishment.  That seemed to help and she began to gain weight but by six months she was drinking from a sippy cup.  She never did take to the bottle much.  She started eating baby food early as well.  During this first six months, she experienced a lot of diarrhea and was often dehydrated.  So on those occasions, her diet would be mashed bananas, rice cereal and room temperature seven-up.
      She was absolutely a beautiful baby.  Curly blonde hair, blue eyes, very tiny, she looked like a little doll.  When we would take her out in her baby carrier, people would comment on her beauty.  She didn't sit up by herself until she was almost seven months.  A week before she was a year old, she welcomed a new baby sister, Lora.  Lora was the best thing that happened to Leah.  Lora was above average in growing, she was a perfect, healthy little girl and Leah followed her lead.  Leah learned to walk by pulling herself up on Lora's walker and hanging on while her little sister pulled her around.  
     Her sisters all surpassed her mentally and physically but she held her own.  At age four we took her to Bradley to work with the wonderful speech therapist, Dr. Mawhinney.  She started to say some words clearer but still had her own way of speaking.  Again, I think she learned best from her younger sisters.
     She repeated Kindergarten, which was hard on her and that meant she and Lora were in the same grade until fifth grade, we finally were able to get her into special ed.  Special Ed classes for the whole city were held at Roosevelt School at that time, and that is where she met her lifelong friend, Melissa.  When we moved to Washington, she continued in special ed through high school.
       When she was thirteen, she was diagnosed with Diabetes.  I learned to give her her shots by practicing sticking the syringe into an orange.  Before long Leah was giving her shots to herself.  
      After High School, she worked at the Tazewell County Recourse Center and then at Hardees and Burger King.  In late 1994, she began having a series of TIAs and strokes and she died on August 9, 1995.
 
      I think for the most part, Leah had a good life.  She was certainly loved by a lot of people.  She had an inordinate amount of patience, especially with little children.  She loved to read  - especially books about animals.  And when it came to puzzles, she would lay out each piece from the box, examine it carefully, lay it on the card table and when all the pieces were in front of her, she would study it for awhile and then in a short time put it together.  That was amazing to me. 
      She loved animals and when she met someone, she might not remember their names but she never forgot the names of their animals.  She loved to fish.  We belonged to Kennel Lake and she and her dad would often go out and fish on a summer evening.  When we would vacation in Wisconsin, she spent a lot of the day out in a boat angling. 
      Leah used her special talents for the Church.  Two boys at St. Patricks were blind and when they made their First Communion, for the preparation time, Leah went up to the class and sat with them, and helped them.  She loved doing that.  And at a time, when a former Pastor wouldn't unlock the right side door to the Church, Leah stood Sunday after Sunday to open the door for a parishoner with Parkinsons so he wouldn't have to walk around to the front entrance.  Small things, but so important to someone else.

     She could be stubborn, but she was mostly loving and particularly kind.
Several months before she died, we were in the car and the radio was playing Freddie Fender's song "Until the Last Teardrop Falls".  She said:  "I think that is a good song to play at a funeral".  And it was played at hers, just before Mass started. 


      The picture above was her one year picture.  The picture on the right is the last picture taken of her in July of 1995.  Our family was truly blessed with this first of our six daughters.  She's been gone for several years now, but she is in our minds - and hearts - -often. 
    

Journey - Two Years Later (E-Mails)

     I have heard from people who are going through cancer treatment and have said this blog helps.  That's why I continue to chronicle my journey.

August 8,2010,  Sunday:  Friday, I had another CT scan of chest and abdomen.  We are building a base line.  Angela and I went out to the Cancer Center where we talked with Jeannie Riley about what to expect from chemo.  I had talked with Mary Lou (Her husband, Russ Epperly was diagnosed with lung cancer the same day as me) on Thursday and she had talked about what Russ was going through so I had heard some of it from her.  Why am I doing this?  Tell me again!!!  I came out of that meeting and I really wanted to cry, gulped several times to hold it back.  God, give me strength and fortitude.
     I'm going to post some of the amazing e-mails I've been getting.  I'll read them over and over when I'm feeling down. (and I have)

So sorry I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday the other day.  I've been wanting to tell you for a long time what an Inspiration you have always been to me.  I keep thinking to do it and then some crisis or just daily life interrupts and I forget.  Anyway, you are such an amazing person.  Some of my happiest memories are of being at your house.  You have always been so open and loving and treated everyone like they were one of your kids.  You are gracious and beautiful and have such a gift for setting people at ease.  Your faith is such a part of your daily life and it shines through your whole being.  I hope when I grow up to be just like you.  Although I have a long way to go...I love you very much.  (from niece, Michelle via Facebook)

Mom, Your attitude is everything.  You have a very strong faith and have always been optimistic.  Mr E ( Russ Epperly)  has been dreading this since the beginning and his whole attitude changed when he found out he had cancer.  How many times in NYC did I hear you pull the 'stage 4' card? Making light of it.  It's your attitude.  And yours glows.  We love you.  We are all here for you.  And with the way you've acted so far, like Dad was a poster child for retirement, you will be a poster child for surviving cancer.  Hell, you made it through the valium years, this is nothing. :)  Alissa  (The valium years:  Since I don't  remember a lot of raising six daughters born in
eight years, it's sort of a blur, the kids call the teen age years the valium years.  I never took valium but there were times I should have!)

From Brother Russ:  You're right, attitude is everything.  Not to belabor a point, but I have survived Spinal Meningitis, the blow that retired me from the police force, five by-passes, etc.  I realize that was nothing compared to birthing six children, but for a guy that was tough enough.  I played eighteen holes of golf yesterday in 95 degree weather, on a sprained ankle.  I have faith in you and those that are there to actively support you, and Lee and I will keep you in our prayers.
By the way, there is a cancer hotline set up by Henry Block and his wife, when they both suffered cancer.  It is supposed to be very be very helpful, as they were appalled at the lack of information available.

Norma:  Since Linda shared your news with me a few weeks ago, I have been praying for you every morning.  I know and admire your deep faith.  My prayer has been that through your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, you will find strength and the peace that only He can give.  I will continue my prayers for you and if there is anything I can do for you, let me know.  Paul (Ryan)
(Not that Paul Ryan, but the husband of a friend)

Our niece, Claudia, is an RN in the Springfield, Mo. area.  She asked another nurse who works in a cancer center for info.)
Claudia - Is she having chemo in Spfld?  If so, which hospital?  If it is at Cox, I will get her some good. personal attention and help.
Lung cancer treatment isn't the worst chemo.  She will probably not lose her hair.  Mouth sores are a problem, so she needs to start baking soda and salt mouthwashes right way - the day she starts chemo.  1/4 tsp baking soda, 1/4 tsp salt in 8 oz warm H20 - rinse and spit - use the entire glass, at least 4X/day.  It will prevent the sores from coming up.  Tastes bad, but worth it!
If she gets sores with the rinses, tell the doctor immediately and ask for Caphasol Rinse.  It is a prescription, but is a miracle rinse!  Insurance didn't cover it 2 years ago - but it has been out a while now and should be covered.
Nausea meds - use Zofran every 8 hours for the 1st 24 hours - regardless of how she feels.  Back it up with the less nausea med (I am drawing a blank on the name right now), but after 24 hours, the less strong one should do the trick.  Take the meds!  No need for nausea/vomiting and they won't hurt you!  If she has N/V uncontrolled - call the office!  Sometimes they need a bag of fluid and some K+ to get them back on track.  NO ONE having chemo should go home and have vomiting.  The meds should control it.  Food not tasting good is normal and just not feeling hungry, but vomiting IS NOT NORMAL.  Tell her not to hesitate to call the doctor.
Let me know if she is at Cox - I will get her a "personal nurse"!  
Any other questions , let me know.

(I love nurses, whether they are your friends or not, they are all, for the most part a "personal nurse)

A September 11 Story

      When Vern and I were going together, he belonged to a Golf League on Saturday mornings, in season, he played golf. When we got married and lived on Western Avenue he continued in the League and often on Sundays would play with my cousin, Ben Martin at Madison Park Golf Course. Then we moved out to Maxwell Road by the airport and started having children, Vern's golf outings then mostly were on vacation in Missouri with B-I-L, Claude Young. When most of the children were born, he was working either second or third shift at Caterpillar and he felt he didn't see the daughters enough so he gave up the Golf League.
      Every year we would watch the Bing Crosby Pro-Am at Pebble Beach, California and he would often say: "Someday I want to play that course!" Considering what our costs were raising six children, that was a pretty far fetched dream. When Mary and Gregg moved to San Jose, we drove over to Seventeen Mile Drive one time and stopped at the Course and he walked out on the eighteenth green and said: "Someday I'm going to play this course!" Just walking onto that fabled course touched his golfer's soul. By this time, there was just Leah at home and he and Keith Lee were working first shift and playing golf regularly at Peoria, Pekin or Eureka. He retired from Cat in 1990 and he and Keith started playing at Pine Lakes and again on Monday mornings played in the Senior Golf League. He really loved the camaraderie with this group of men.

       In 2001, Mary and Gregg had started their Travel Agency and she told Vern that she could get a comp reservation to play at Pebble Beach. The only way you can make a tee time is to be staying at the resort. So we flew out to San Jose with the idea of him playing golf and then driving a rental car down to San Diego to visit Alissa and family. His tee time was 10:10 a.m. on September 10th, 2001. Our room was lovely, great toiletries. We had dinner at the Lodge overlooking the eighteenth hole the evening before.

      The next morning, we were up early and had breakfast at a little upstairs diner on the property and our aide - we were assigned one when we arrived - came by and and took us over to the practice green to wait until his tee time. Vern was walking the course and they allowed me to follow along in the golf cart, so that I could take pictures and just watch this exciting day for him. He had hired a caddy for the day. His foursome included a father and son. The son lived in the area and his father was visiting him from out East. Vern's partner was a man from England. He and his wife were on their honeymoon and the round of golf at Pebble Beach was her wedding gift to him.        

   I don't think Vern walked the course that day, but floated a little above ground.  His dream had come true.  Whenever he would come to the cart to get a club and no matter what the previous shot, he was grinning from ear to ear.  I don't know what the final score was  - maybe one of the daughters can remember - but it was respectable.  When he played the eighteenth hole, I called Mary, she E-mailed her sisters and because of a satellite they could watch their dad play that hole.  What a grand day that was and the next day the World changed forever.

  The rest of the story......When he was done, we checked out and headed South towards San Diego.  We spent the night in Paso Robles.  The next morning, Vern went into the bathroom to shave.  Still in bed, I turned on the TV.  Katie Couric was talking about a plane hitting one of the twin towers and as they were talking, the second plane hit.  I told Vern, he came out of the bathroom and we watched for a few minutes.  Then called the girls.  At that point, no one was sure what was happening and they suggested we take the the High Desert Route and avoid Los Angeles.  We did and arrived at Alissas in the afternoon. We could not get a flight out of San Diego and started back to
Illinois in our rental car.  Friday, the day we
started back, was the National Day of Mourning.  As we came through Las Vegas
All of the outside of the Casinos were dark.
The lights were on inside the buildings so
people walking along the streets looked
like silhouettes.  Vern didn't want to stop in Vegas because he didn't feel it was a safe place so we
drove quite awhile before we found a place for the night.
   

  This picture shows Vern contemplating his next drive off the tee at Pebble.  I like to think that's what he's doing now, playing an eternal round at a spectacular course, hitting straight down the middle.

Gallimaufry

 Sue Recommends
    When I was sixty-two and eligible for Social Security, I signed up.  Yes, I took a reduction in the amount I received, but it's okay.  With that extra money, I promised myself two things, a monthly pedicure and some one to clean my house.  That is when Sue came into my life.  She had been in our lives previously.  I knew her from Church and she attended school with some of our children.  She started cleaning houses because she could choose her own hours which gave her time to do things for and with her boys and she was able to be there for others when she needed to be.  Over the years she has become a dearer friend and at times - for both of us - a seventh daughter.  When my house was broken into this Spring and I was in Idaho, it was Sue I called to come and check on things.
      Recently, a piece on the vacuum cleaner broke, and I asked her if we needed to buy a new one and she said no but she took the piece to Don's Sweeper Repair on War Memorial, and had it fixed.  When we bought a new sweeper several years ago, she suggested a Sears canister style and it has been great.  A couple other things Sue recommends are:  Barkeepers Friend for a scrubber, and recently she introduced me to Mr. Clean Magic Eraser - those are amazing.  I have introduced her to Mrs. Meyer products.  From time to time, I will update you on other things Sue Recommends.  I recommend that everyone have a Sue in their life.

This week's funeral
      I know people think its a joke when I say that going to funerals is my social life, but it's true.  At the funeral on Saturday, I saw Bonnie Hietter, Bill and Mary Sloman and Beth and Denny Doolan, all people I admire and just don't see very often.  That is one of the bonuses of those sad events.
      My Grandma Scovil loved going to visitations and now I realize that it gave her a chance to visit with those folks she only saw on such an occasion.  At Roger Billings funeral, a couple of months ago, I  visited with Ron Eckstein and his wife, Ethel.  Ron and I had lived next door to each other when we lived on Howett St. I hadn't seen Ron and Babe in years.
     Cliff Bohlman was buried on  Saturday.  He was a wonderful person.  Cliff a few years ago had  developed Alzheimer's Disease but it was a fast growing cancer that caused his death.  Often when I attended  6:30 Sunday morning Mass, Cliff, his dear wife, Carole and I would go to Gebbys Diner for breakfast afterwards.  He was a retired pharmacist and she is a Physical Therapist.  Carole Bohlman is an amazing woman, one of the most caring, giving, spirit fulled women I know.  It is awesome to be in her presence.
     After the Memorial Mass - Cliff had been cremated -  Father Taylor asked us to please sit for the Military Service.   Two young soldiers dressed in Dress Uniform, walked up the outside aisles.  They picked up the folded American Flag that had been next to Cliff's urn,  and in that slow, deliberate style unfurled the flag, slowly moving away from each other as it came undone.  Once it was opened, they did this amazing flip of the Flag, lowered it to the urn and brought it back up and began to refold it.  When it was folded, and all the while, the organist softly played taps, one soldier did that slow ceremonial salute to the Flag and sharply turned and walked away, while the other slowly walked to Carole and knelt down and handed her the
Flag and spoke to her.  Then he stood, saluted her and the Flag and walked back down the aisle.  So moving, so imposing.
    Two of Cliff and Carole's sons are in the military at present, stationed at Fort Bragg and Fort Benning.  They were there to pay respects to their dad, of course, in their uniforms.  What was another moving moment for me was as they walked back down the aisle, both of them were carrying their children.  A reminder that these warriors are dads and sons.